


30 Days in the Hole

by amhrancas



Category: Arashi (Band), Johnny's Entertainment, Kanjani8 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural (TV) Fusion, Gen, old fic is old
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-07
Updated: 2011-10-07
Packaged: 2018-10-16 09:25:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10568412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amhrancas/pseuds/amhrancas
Summary: Ryo and Maru are hunters trying to balance out an impending apocalypse, zombie ex-hunters, a renegade angel, corrupt Crossroads demons, and all the other things that go bump in the night.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a pinch for the 2011 jerainbowbridge exchange. Set within the Supernatural 'verse, this would fall within the events of season 5. The title comes from the song of the same name by Humble Pie, and released in 1972.

The man stumbled into a flat of crates as he whirled around in the shadowy warehouse, eyes searching the darkness for evidence of the two men he knew were pursuing him. A small hiss escaped his lips as the raw tissue of his arm made rough contact with the tower of wood, sloughing off more skin which landed in a slimy plop at his feet.

“Come on!! Show yourself to me you cowards!! Show me your faces!!” He bellowed into the darkened space around him before he heard the sudden pop of gunfire and felt a sharp burning rip through his chest. Just then a silhouette entered into the light a few meters in front of him, gun clutched firmly in his extended hand, a ski mask pulled snugly down over his face and dark glasses covering his eyes.

“Show you my face?” The masked figure laughed, his husky voice not revealing any trace of the nerves or adrenaline coursing through his body at the moment. “Not on your life. Not that it’s worth much anymore, what with that silver bullet being lodged in your chest now.” He stepped further out from the shadows as the lanky figure before him crumpled into a heap of writhing flesh, his long face contorting into a number of expressions before falling lax as death claimed him.

Finally pulling off the glasses and mask the gunman lowered his weapon. His sleepy, dark eyes taking in the scene before him, Ryo hit the safety and slid the gun back into his waistband of his faded and worn jeans.

“Sucks to die with such a goaty face I guess,” Ryo offered as he lightly kicked the leg of the shapeshifter before reaching down to check for a lack of pulse. “But at least these masks seem to be doing the trick. Good thinking there, brainiac,” he said with a pointed nod towards a second figure now emerging from the shadows to join him. The taller man crouched down next to Ryo and the body, reaching out to close the corpse’s eyes.

“Thanks, but it was really just a guess. I just figured that if a shifter needed to see a person’s face before taking their shape and memories, we might be able to get around that by, you know, not showing our faces. Come on,” Maru said as he started to heft the body up off the ground, “let’s get this guy taken care of and head back to the car.”

 

~~~

It had been a while since the two had dealt with such a routine, run-of-the-mill hunt that they both felt a little uneasy as they headed down the lonely road on their way back to Hina’s place, the static-laced strains of Foghat filling the car as the reception cut in and out on the radio.

“Any word of new activity on Lucy’s front?” Ryo asked, casting a glance at Maru as he scrolled through messages on his phone.

“Nothing yet, Tacchon sent a message saying that it’s been eerily quiet out at the bar, too. None of the other hunters have heard or run into anything big either. Sounds like whatever’s coming, it’s gonna be big, and they’re using this time to get ready for it.”

“That would make sense,” Subaru piped in from the back seat, completely unfazed by the startled yelps from the front seat and sharp veering of the car from Ryo violently jerking the steering wheel at his sudden apparition. “For Lucifer to pull off a feat as big as summoning the horsemen it’s going to take a large amount of carnage on his part. Unfortunately, my lines of contact are becoming more and more broken every day. I’m just not sure what’s going on anymore out there,” the angel shifted nervously on the seat, unused to feeling so disconnected from everything. “This isn’t going to be pretty you guys.”

“Yeah, Ryo glanced up at him in the rear-view mirror, their eyes meeting for a moment and then moving away. “Let’s just get back to Hina’s and regroup. We can move on from there.”

“I wonder if Yoko’s still hanging around there. Think we should grab some food for Hina in case he hasn’t poisoned him yet?” Maru rolled down his window and mused into the nighttime air.

 

~~~

Two days earlier

Ryo and Maru stood frozen in place on Hina’s front doorstep, the image on the other side of the screen door having stunned them into near-paralysis.

“Hey guys, good to see you!! Come on in. Hina! The boys are here!!” Yoko hollered as he held open the door for their guests, a can of spray-starch in one hand and pot holder on the other, the delicate chintz patterns on it matching those on the ruffled apron wrapped about his torso. They cautiously made their way past their friend’s very old, very dead former hunting buddy, who had been killed about half a decade earlier in an instance of possession-gone-bad.

“Just go ahead and have a seat in the front room, guys, Hina’ll be out in a second.” Yoko added before heading back towards the kitchen area.

“What’s he doing here, Hina?” Maru hissed at their old friend when he entered the den.

“And what’s with the frilly apron? New kink?” Ryo added, casting a speculative glance towards the other room.

“Now guys, calm down, okay, I know what it looks like—” The older hunter started back.

“Hina, he’s dead. I know for a fact that he’s died at least twice in the past, once quite recently, actually, after he tried to kill you,” Maru interrupted, knowing all-too-well how difficult it was for Hina to have to kill off Yoko the first two times.

“I know, I know,” Hina sighed. “And I know I’ll have to kill him again, just, later though. This time he seems really hung up on doing my laundry for some reason, and let’s face it, the house could use some freshening up. Oh, but hey— whatever you do, just don’t drink or eat anything he gives you, okay? He seems pretty insistent that Belladonna is supposed to go in everything.”

“Belladonna?” Ryo warily appraised the bottle of Johnny Walker he’d just poured a shot from, glancing from it, to Hina, and back.

“Yeah, that and Visine in my whiskey. That bottle should be safe though, I only opened it right before you two showed up.”

“So, your ex-hunting buddy is back from the dead, again I might add, and on a merry whirlwind of starching your boxers, lacing your dinner with atropine, and spiking your drinks like college frat-pranks are going out of style. Well that sounds perfectly normal,” Ryo scoffed as he shrugged and threw back the shot, wincing a little at the burn on his throat.

“Sounds about right. Now, you boys are here about that shifter out in Des Moines, right? I’ve got those extra silver bullets you said you needed,” Hina finished filling the last of three ammunition cases and stacked it on top of the others on his desk.

“Thanks,” Maru offered as he tossed the first box to Ryo. “Hey—you didn’t by any chance piss off Aiba lately, did you?”

“Right? This kinda reeks of Trickster 101, Hina.” Ryo mused as he jammed the ammo into his duffel, silently cursing the bag for not being big enough to hold everything. “I mean, are you even sure that what’s in the kitchen even is Yoko?”

“Beat’s me. And it’s been forever since I last saw—” Hina’s voice drifted off as realization struck him. “You know, I did kind of lose my temper at him last time he was here. It was when you guys had me tracking that Rakshasa outside of Tupelo for you, he kept trying to get me to try these mabo doufu strawberry crepes he’d come up with… But that was over two months ago, you don’t think he’s still be holding a grudge over that, do you?

“I guess it’s hard to say. Just, be careful Hina. Maybe try calling up Aiba? Either way, it couldn’t hurt to apologize, right?” Maru added as he and Ryo finished packing up the supplies and headed for the door.

Yoko popped his head out from the kitchen “Oh, are you guys leaving already? Hang on a sec.” After a few bangs from cabinet doors and other sounds he emerged from the kitchen then holding a large thermos which he thrust at Ryo. “Now it’s getting pretty cold out there you two, so be sure to drink up and stay warm, otherwise next thing you know you’ll get with the flu and wind up dead. And trust me on this one, I know all about dying.” Yoko leveled a flat stare at Hina before turning back around heading out of the room. Hina nervously laughed as he took back the thermos from Ryo and Maru.

“I’ll let you guys know if anything new comes up over here. You two should probably get going.”

“Yeah, we’ll see you around man,” Maru said as they headed back out to the car, Ryo brightening up as he slid into the driver’s seat.  
“Hey, you know who still in Des Moines? Jin’s mom.”

“Really? How do you even remember this stuff Ryo? I mean, we haven’t seen Jin in almost a decade.”

“It’s easy. So I figure maybe we can swing by and say hi, have some home cooking. Maybe hook up with a little Mrs. Robinson action, if you know what I mean?”

Maru could only stare at him, his mouth hanging open in disbelief.

“What?” Ryo shot back at the look on Maru’s face, half disgust and half exasperation. “She’s hot.”

“She’s your friend’s mom, Ryo.”

“Yeah, well, she makes good food. And she’s gotta be lonely with her kids both out of the state for work, so why not help her keep the home fires burning?”

“I am judging you so hard right now.”

 

~~~

It was well past 10 at night by the time they pulled back into Hina's. The silence which replaced the rumbling of the old car as they cut the engine struck them as more than a little bit eerie. The entire grounds were pitch black, not a light in the house was on, or in the workshop.

“Something’s not right,” Maru said as he climbed out of the passenger side. Subaru had already vanished from the back seat.

“Hey Hina???” Ryo yelled out to the house, hoping to get a response but not expecting one. “You said you spoke to him about an hour ago, right?” A note of anxiousness laced it’s was into his voice as he looked back at Maru.

“Yeah, he said he was fine and would see us when we got here.” They both made their way up the front steps, boots heavy on the wood as they approached the door.

“Your friend isn’t here anymore,” Subaru stated flatly as he walked out the front door. “But there is someone you need to see in here.

The three walked into the living room, lit faintly by the glowing LED panels on what looked to be a portable video game. Maru flipped a switch on the wall and flooded the room with light, revealing the form of Yoko sitting in the middle of the floor, game in his hands.

“Oi, hey, Yoko! Yoko! Where’s Hina? What did you do to him?” Ryo started in before Maru held him up.

“Ryo, look at him.” They both stopped for a minute and surveyed the figure sitting in the center of the room. What at first glance appeared to be a man engrossed in a video game was actually just a body hunched over the console in its hands, the smell of decomposing flesh filling the room.

“It would seem that whoever brought him back no longer needed him alive,” Subaru mused as Maru reached down to take the Nintendo DS from the body. He glanced at the message typed into the dialog box.

not trickstr—

“Hey Baru?” Ryo asked as they finished looking over Yoko’s body for any other clues. “Do you think you could take him back to his grave?”

“Of course,” and in a flash of light both he and the body were gone.

 

~~~

“So, it looks like Hina may have been on to something here about how to stop Lucifer,” Ryo said as he held up a couple sheafs of notes from Hina’s desk. “I think he may have tracked down the person who has the Colt, even.”

Maru let out a low whistle as he looked the console over while Ryo continued to pour through Hina’s notes.

“Hey Ryo, this thing’s the latest model.”

“Yeah, so?”

“So, it’s not even available to retail outlets as a demo, let alone for purchasing.”

“Is that right, now?” Ryo asked, suddenly catching Maru’s direction of thought. “And who do we know with the clout to land their grubby paws on one of those, and who’s ‘not trickster,’ and who also might also happen to be tied up with the Colt?” Ryo asked as he tapped Hina's notes.

Maru stood up and tossed Ryo’s beat-up leather jacket to him before pulling his own faded field jacket on. “Hey Subaru,” he asked, turning toward the figure lounging on the couch. “You up for terrorizing a couple of Crossroads demons?”

A grin spread wide across the angel’s face as he sat up alertly, his normally wide and staring eyes crinkling up with the action.

“Always.”

 

~~~

Breaking into a place, no matter how intricate the security system, ceased to be an issue when you had an angel that could teleport himself into buildings and disable the alarm systems for you. The three had timed their arrival perfectly, having little more than a couple of lesser demons to dispatch of before waiting for their target to arrive. In the meantime they busied themselves with arranging the herbs, blood, and other implements they would need for the upcoming summoning.

It wasn’t long after they had finished and had helped themselves to the bar that they heard their host arrive home, the defined click of Italian heels on the polished wood flooring approaching the office space which they had commandeered.

“Hello, Matsumoto.” Ryo greeted the man as he entered the room, voice low and drawn out in his best imitation of Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs.

Jun froze mid-step as he took in the scene before him. Nishikido was lounging on his sofa while sipping a glass of what appeared to be his bourbon; his partner, Maruyama, he reminded himself, was flipping through one of his more valuable antique tomes pulled down from the bookshelf; and laying backwards on the sofa, his feet hanging over the back and his back against the seat, head hanging upside-down while he stared back at Jun, was the sorriest excuse for an angel he had ever seen in his life.

“Oh no. No, no, no. Do not pass go, do not collect $200 dollars. Just forget it. I’m not making any more deals with the two of you, so you can just both piss off and dig up some other demon to bother. You got it?” Jun threw a handful of mail down onto a nearby table and marched over to the sideboard to pour himself a drink, glowering at the marked decrease in the decanter’s volume. “And how the devil did you even find this place? It’s one thing to harass me at the office, but to come to my home?”

Ryo feigned a wounded appearance as he finished off his drink and stood up. “Gee, Maru, he seems unhappy to see us. I can’t imagine why?”

“Why? Because every time I lock lips with one of you two and then collect payment you just turn around and end up living again. Sorry, but no deal this time. Not without a bottle of Bowmore ’64 first, and then you,” he shifted so he could jab his finger into Ryo’s chest, “you have to brush your teeth first because my god, if I have to taste half-a-day old bacon cheeseburger with double onions on your breath again—”

“Aww, but I ordered those onions just for you, Jun, why can’t you just—”

“Relax, Matsumoto, we aren’t even here for you,” Maru clapped his hand down on Ryo’s shoulder cutting his no-doubt dazzling retort short. “We need to speak to your boss.”

“Yeah, you’ve got better luck of getting a tongue-bath from me that you have of meeting him, so you can just forget it,” Jun scoffed as he turned back to his decanter to top off his glass. “And I suggest you,” he addressed to Subaru “keep a tighter leash on your boyfriend and his buddy here before they go summoning up somethi—” The cold press of a steel point against the back of his neck and an accompanying burn as it scratched his skin cut Jun off mid-sentence as he slowly turned to come face-to face with Ryo, who shifted the ornately carved blade around to just under Jun’s chin.

“But you see,” Subaru approached the two of them, eyes wide and searching as he studied the situation, Ryo’s menacing grin and the cold sweat breaking out on Jun’s brow. “I’ve never had much luck with leashes and this one. He prefers to make his own rules.”

Maru quickly moved across the room, relieving Jun of his satchel and rifling through it for his phone and planner.

“You know, I do love it when you talk so pretty, Jun," Ryo teased. "Now, it’d be a shame to have to slice that mouth off your face, so how ‘bout you just tell us where your boss is, and how we can get a hold of him?”

 

~~~

“Do you even drink Bowmore?” Maru asked as he scrolled through the contacts list on the confiscated phone, sparing a casual glance towards the demon who was now seated in his own desk chair, centered over a freshly painted Devil’s Trap splashed across his antique floorboards.

“Doesn’t matter. Like you could afford a bottle anyway.”

“Who ever said we’d even buy it?” Maru laughed back at him.

“Yeah, hate to break your heart sunshine, but I’m not exactly dying to make out with you any time soon either,” Ryo chimed in from over by the makeshift altar he and Subaru had set up on Jun’s desk, tossing a last handful of herbs into the bowl at its center before double-checking that the sigils were drawn correctly. “You ready for this, Maru?”

The three of them gathered around the desk, the lights starting to flicker and candle flames jump as Maru began reciting the incantation.

“Matsumoto, what the hell? You can’t just call me up like a normal person?” An annoyed voice filled the room as a new body joined their small party. The short man was dressed impeccably in a three piece suit that looked as though it was direct from Savile Row, his youthful face betrayed by shrewd eyes which first widened in surprise and then narrowed in shrewd calculation at the sight of the two hunters and angel in the room.

“I was wondering how long it would take you lot to ring me up.” Nino delivered dryly as he appraised the situation, eyes landing on the DS sitting on the desk. “And I see you found my calling card at your friend’s house. Wonderful! So, why beat around the bush? Let’s make a deal, shall we? You go first.”

“Fine,” Ryo started out, “You give us the Colt, and return Hina unharmed, and we don’t kill you. How’s that sound?”

“Laughable, is how it sounds, so here’s my turn. I’ll give you both the Colt, extra ammunition for it, and your angry little friend in the same condition he was in before I took him, and you two,” Nino gestured between Ryo and Maru before continuing, “will agree to assist me in a number of sticky matters for say, the next thirty days.”

“Are you delusional?” Ryo snapped back, “Hell no, we aren’t going to work with you.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I must be mistaking you for that other set of hunters and their dysfunctional pet angel who keep running up against the powers of evil and are in desperate need of a supernatural handgun so that they can kill the Devil with it. My mistake. Now if you’ll excuse me,” Nino glanced at his phone which chose then to start buzzing, punching in a series of codes on the touch screen to pull up an incoming file. “I have business matters to attend to.”

“Oh, Jun, I’ve got a new call for you; just came in,” Nino handed over the phone after breaking the Trap binding his subordinate. “It’s one of your favorite repeat customers, too.”

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.” Matsumoto seethed as he scrolled through the file. “Kamenashi? Again??? No. No way. I mean, really?? How many times can the same person sell me their soul?”

“Maybe he just likes to spend some quality time with you, Jun. Have you ever thought of that?” Nino coyly taunted his minion. “Now go. Get me that soul or you’re not going to have a house left to return to.”

“I swear to you, or God, or whoever is actually going to listen to me, if you don’t stop letting him out of his deals with me I’m going to just get these chuckleheads to off me with that bloody pistol once and for all. I mean really, this is the fifth time!!” and with that he vanished from the room.

“Star-crossed lovers are so touching, aren’t they?” Nino stated as he turned back to face the trio still in the room, and leaned casually against the edge of Jun’s desk. “Now, getting back to your buddy and the Colt. Do we have a deal? Because I really see no other way for this to work out in your favor. Feel free to give your little prophet friend a ring though, if you’d like to double-check.”

“You know Ryo, it couldn’t hurt to give Ohno a call, just to get his take on this,” Maru pulled out his phone and scrolled through the contacts list before pulling up the data for him.

“So that’s my offer, boys," Nino wrapped up his pitch while Maru was on the phone. "You want the gun and your cranky friend back, you work for me. Not that I’ll be demanding too much of your time mind you. We wouldn’t want you all slacking off on your noble mission to save this crappy little planet, now would we? After all, I’ve kind of come to like it here.”

“Subaru, can’t you do something about this? Seriously?” Ryo wheeled around, a blend of frustration and desperation crossing his face.

“…yeah, hey man, thanks for the info. Let us know if anything new comes up, k?” Maru ended the call and rand his free hand through his hair as he rejoined their conversation, casting a wry smirk over towards a smug looking Nino. “Sorry Ryo, bad news. Just got off the phone with Ohno and he says that while he hasn’t seen much about Ninomiya, he’s definitely seen us working for him for a while. Maybe it’s best if we just agree? It is only for a month.”

“The man has a point, Ryo,” Subaru said as he settled back onto the sofa in resignation. “And whether you like it or not, a prophet of the Lord is never wrong.”

Ryo clenched his hands into his hair and let out a low whine of frustration. “Fine, god-dammit. Now give us the damn gun and Hina.” Looking back up at the varying expressions in the room he reached into his jacket pocket and yanked out his cigarettes. After the first long drag he glowered back at them. “I hate you all so much right now.”

"Oh, come now," Nino said, playful smile back on his face. "Let's just make the best of all this and have ourselves a bit of fun? After all, how many days do you get to kill the devil?"


End file.
